Weddings in the past.

Weddings until not long ago used to be an occasion everyone in the social circle looked forward and loved going to. That charm has diminished somewhat and a typical sub-continental wedding now looks like as shadow of what it used to be.

At a time when we the millennials grew up wedding was a much simpler affair then it has become now. It was the gathering of families whose members were scattered around the country or the world. Sub-continental countries with vast emigrant and expatriate population, a wedding use to become a reason to come home and see old faces. A chance to sit together with the relatives, crack simple jokes and shares your life experiences late into the nights with a never ending supply of tea, snacks and other goodies. This was the surrounding environment of a typical sub-continental wedding in the past.

The front yard of the house was the place this function took place, with a simple stage covered with white sheets. Carpeted stage for the bride and groom was too much a luxury and was seen only at the weddings of affluent class. If the invites are large in numbers or for the want of separate space for men and women, tents were set up in a nearby plot or open space.

Change in grandeur.

As resources and wants of society grew, weddings shifted to the parks and other glittering venues. The investors jumped in and made reasonably priced wedding marquees everywhere. Large air-conditioned wedding complexes are a norm now a day, people are too afraid of a backlash from the society to even think about doing a simple wedding function. This is what a typical sub-continental wedding has turned into.

Modern day weddings.

In bigger cities, weddings have a set formula with every function becoming as joyless as the next one. A number of useless functions are a part of such a typical sub-continental wedding. Many gatherings of dholki arranged by your father and mother’s social circle, each trying to impress others is one example of it.

Now comes the mehndi, with a number of dance performances on movie songs that are created keeping in mind such special occasions. Everyone in your close circle wants a share of the limelight. Young cosines and friends want to dance on songs they were rehearsing for weeks and tit for tat dance performances from both sides continue till late night. The traditional dholak or luddi are considered sign of backwardness (so they need to go away), with them went the participation of all those who can’t dance on a high beet song.

Movie like scenes.

Baraat and Walima is even more movie like. With bride coming on scooters or rickshaw or the couple coming down in a flying prop, lights turning off, high beams following couples every move, artificial fog and fireworks from the entrance of the venue till the stage and even after. Drones hover above taking pictures and making movies. Big screens playing life events of the bride and groom with everyone becoming a robot to the instruction of the photographer for that perfect click he is looking for. All this have made a typical sub-continent wedding and cold and soulless function.

While wedding is really the function for the close friends and family, as they enjoy the most, a typical sub-continental wedding has really become monotonous and lifeless for the extended family and social circle. People usually arrive as late as they can, sit and start playing with their smart phones, taking an occasional selfie. Big gatherings have made finding any familiar face with whom you can talk even more difficult.

Overspending spree.

Lot of overspending is being done at every level imaginable from invitation cards to dress selections. Venue of events to the food that will be served, all this has made it very expensive, particularly for the middle-class as they look to maintain the society standards but has limited resources.

The sound coming from the metallic dishes announces that food is ready to be served. Everyone is in a rush for the actual event of the night — the feast. People fill their plates like a mountain with the same oily dishes that are served in every function. As soon as guests finish eating, they sneakily hand their envelopes to the host and take leave.

Conclusion.

I sincerely hope that over time we will learn the significances of real happiness is not in display of wealth and glamour but in simple things. We need to make a typical sub continental wedding, engaging and enjoyable for all who attend and that can only be done if we spend less on the glitz and more on soulfulness.

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